A computer was something on TV,
From a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean,
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend,
And Gig was your middle finger upright.
Now they all mean different things,
And that really is what bites.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account.
And if you had a 3 1/2″ floppy,
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage,
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public,
You’d be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire.
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived.
And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue.
A web was a spider’s home.
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper.
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead.
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, It’s time to go to school!”
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”
